Lift Seat

Lift Seat
WHY do MEN LIFT TOILET SEAT when urinating?

Men, at least in South Africa lift seat when urinating…….. their excuse is that they don’t want to mess on it……but they also say that they still wipe off any mess on the rim… what’s the point of lifting it?

WHY do MEN LIFT TOILET SEAT when urinating?

* KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: They do not need to sit on it.

* PLATO: For the greater good.

* THE POPE: God knows.

* POLICEMAN: Give me ten minutes with the Men and I’ll know why.

* ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of Men to lift toilet seats.

* SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on all men.

* CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly lift that no men has ever lifted before. .

* MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I have a dream, a world where all Men will be free to lift toilet seats without having their motives being called into question.

* MACHIAVELLI: The point is that Men lift toilet seats. Who cares and why? The lifting of the seat justifies whatever motive it is or there was.

* MZEKEZEKE: I am surprised that they have managed to get even us in the ghetto to lift toilet seats.

* FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the men lift toilet seats reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

* GEORGE W. BUSH (2): We don’t really care why the men lift toilet seats. We just want to know if the Men who lift toilet seats are on our side or not. The men who lift toilet seats are
Either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground

* HENRY FORD – Obstacles of men who lift toilet seats are those frightful things men see when they take their eyes off the goal.

* M . K . GHANDI – Lift as if you were to die tomorrow. Aim as if you were to live forever.

* SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL – A lie that all South African men lift toilets seats gets halfway around the world before the truth that not all South African men lift toilet seats has a chance to get its pants on.”

* DARWIN: Men, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to lift toilet seats.

* EINSTEIN: Whether men lift toilet seats or that the toilet seat moved beneath men hands and arms depends upon your frame of reference.

* JACOB ZUMA: I am gravely suspicious that this question is being asked with a malicious intention to trap me, send the Scorpions to raid men who lift toilet seats like me, haul me before the courts and charge me for sodomizing men who lift toilet seats .! Awuleth’ umshini wam’ ……..!!!

* NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the men who lift toilet seats be questioned for lifting toilet seats .
This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.

BLAIR: This shows that there are rights for men who lift toilet seats in this country .

*THABO MBEKI: We need to establish if really there is a connection between the Men and the toilet seat.

* ISAAC NEWTON: Any men in the universe shall always lift toilet seats perpendicularly to the side of their body, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the seat stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the arm’s motion.

* MUGABE: For all of these years the toilet seat has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underprivileged men has waited too long for that toilet seat to be given to him and now he is lifting it in force with his fellow war veteran men. We intend taking over the whole toilet unit and giving it to the men without toilets so that they can lift the toilet seats without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute toilet reforms.

We will not stop until all men who do not have toilet seats to lift , have freedom to lift them.

* ZANU (PF) Spokesman: The South African men did not lift the toilet seats. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have single men in our country that can lift toilet seats as
the whole world knows. All the men were consumed by the
long-suffering masses at the event when we sent out our comrades to enforce what our enemies are now unpatriotically and maliciously referring to as the largest toilet lifting event in the world.

*PROF: JONATHAN MOYO We do not need a Rocket scientist here ! Whether the men lifted the toilet seat or the toilet seat lifted the men it’s a question of semantics…we are a sovereign state this toilet seat question is not only
Ridiculous but malicious, frivolous and vexatious banked on causing mayhem and anarchy among the general populace thereby demeaning our sovereignty, solidarity and patriotism………

* MORGAN TSVANGIRAI – if these men who lift toilet seats do not want to go , we will remove them violently .

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